she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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