Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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