He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
as a side note pls kill me
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
