so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
