He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
