Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
