i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
