Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
