And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize