Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I know her cup size but not her name....
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