so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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