she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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