I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
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She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
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He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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