a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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