these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
