Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
