Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
