How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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