It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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