Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize