i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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