I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
