Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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