Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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