i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
