Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
