Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
