what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
