if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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