Where did you get a picture of my penis
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
