you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
