I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
