**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
we're making bets on your personal life
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
