he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
