Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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