you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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