Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
