He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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