i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
