im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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