God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
