3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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