I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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