i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
