You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
