lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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