if only i could text you this smell
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
