i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
