My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
