For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
so much tequila, so little girl.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
