Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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