Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(563): View more from Iowa

why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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(713): View more from Texas

I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.

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(540): View more from Virginia

I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.

Fav 31 1979 6179
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?

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(330): View more from Ohio

Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag

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(815): View more from Illinois

...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.

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(772): View more from Florida

If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.

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(206): View more from Washington

SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG

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