When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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