I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
