Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
