my sisters under your porch take her home
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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