So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
accomplished twins. life is a go
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
