Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
do nipples grow back?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
