Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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