I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
