This girl is more easily done than said...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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