I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
