I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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